Einstein's Mother At Your Meeting

Real Questions for Real Meetings

Bored at meetings?

Here’s a challenge for you. Count the number of questions that are asked around the table. Divide the questions into three categories:

1. The grade six grammar “open probes”, starting with the W’s
2. The questions that end in “yes” or “no” answers
3. And the summary type questions, such as “so what you’re saying is....?”

If you’d like to be even more ambitious, record who asked the question. Did everyone have a turn? Who took over the meeting? How meaningful were the questions in moving the dialogue forward to an end result?

My point is, meetings cost money. A lot of money. Add up the salaries of everyone at the table, the cost of the room, the coffees and lunches, the mileage and even the time it takes to write and distribute agendas and reports. Is this investment worth the result?

If you’re already thinking, “No, it’s a simple waste of time”, then you might consider the role of questions in transforming the essence of your meeting.
At times, the obvious question just needs to be asked. Typically, decision making is based on assumptions. Assumptions can lead to flawed solutions. Questions clarify. A good example is Lois Lane, who never did ask Superman if he knew Clark Kent.

Apparently, Albert Einstein’s mother Pauline asked her little dyslexic genius, “What good questions did you ask today?”. She’s the kind of meeting participant I’d like to have at the next strategic planning event.

Questions, carefully designed, can bring out the best in people. Questions are at the heart of employee engagement: commitment, truth, integrity and innovation. They are the foundation of dialogue, especially when they are aimed at gathering more information.

Try “Tell me about...” as a substitute for “who, what, when, where, how”. Eliminate “why”. Why? People get defensive instantly.

If your organization is considering the cost of coffee as a potential budget item to eliminate, there’s a better solution.

Look to the structure and dynamics of your meetings, specifically how your conversations happen. Who is asking what?

Ask each other what’s important, and better still, what’s most important? The right questions will lead to the right people, making the right decisions, for the right reasons, at the right time. Albert Einstein’s mother seemed to be onto something, didn’t she!

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Maggie Chicoine is a Master Coach, experienced facilitator and professional writer. She can help you to design meetings that are effective, efficient and fun. She guarantees that no one sleeps! Follow Maggie on Twitter @ ideasculptor.

The Tuesday File appears in LakeSuperiorNews.com weekly. Reach her at 1 800 587 1767 or www.theideasculptor.com

Your Face LEAKS

Your Mind Shows On Your Face

"The human mind is a lot like the human egg, and the human egg has a shut-off device. When o­ne sperm gets in, it shuts down so the next o­ne can't get in. The human mind has a big tendency of the same sort.” - Charlie Munger

Your face leaks. Whatever you might be thinking shows up as the raise of an eyebrow or the furl of your lip. Reading facial “body language” gives you the most clues about the intricacies of character.

What’s in a face?

Think about an imaginary line that connects in a square, eyebrow to eyebrow, cheek to cheek and forehead to chin. That’s the key space captured by cartoonists and portrait photographers. Let’s just say that your personality lives there. It’s home base.

The lines and wrinkles that have formed over the years, are proof of who you are and what you have been thinking. Your unique character is visible to the world from across a football field. Split second impressions which slip across your face thousands of times a day, are instantly interpreted – or misinterpreted by friends and strangers through their own rose coloured glasses.

So when your mind shuts off, or judges someone or something, your face leaks those thoughts, even if you don’t say a word out loud.

Facts About Your Face

Among the findings of Professor Dacher Keltner Ph.D. at the University of Berkley, California:

· There are six basic expressions: happiness, anger, fear, disgust, surprise and calm

· With just 44 muscles, nerves and blood vessels threaded through a scaffolding of bone and cartilage, all layered over by supple skin, the face can twist into 5000 expressions, from an outward grin to a faint sneer.

· There is a distinct difference between feigned and real expression, and in the biological responses produced.

· Smiling eyes can actually pull the face into a smile through the zygomatic muscles.

· We send and read signals at lightening speed and over great distances. The lift of an eyebrow, which lasts a sixth of a second, can register surprise or displeasure even at a distance of 150 feet.

· Smiles are so important to communication that we can see them more clearly than any other expression at a distance of over 300 feet (the length of a football field)

· Facial expressions are largely universal. Babies are programmed to read faces; it is genetic and evolutionary.

· When a female baby hears a loud noise or gets anxious, she wants to make eye contact.

· When a male baby hears a loud noise or gets anxious, he will react by looking around, in a fight or flight response.

· Culture and experience can dull our ability to display and interpret emotions. Abused children may not correctly interpret facial expressions for example.

Let me issue a WARNING:

“Displays of emotion are only half of the equation. How they are interpreted is the other half.”

We are all quite good at reading the obvious signals, but we need to remember that reading faces is complicated. Shortcuts and snap judgments can lead to misinterpretation. Keep the whole conversation in mind before jumping to conclusions.

As a Master Coach, I’ve found that many of my clients aren’t aware of the signals they send, especially when they are subconsciously judging a comment. Eyebrows, eye movements, the tilt of your head can destroy a career opportunity during an interview. A welcoming nod, understanding smile or a kind signal of reassurance can change the mood of a stalled negotiation.

Take a closer look at the distinctive character of faces. They are fascinating. Pay attention to what your mind is telling you. What signals are you sending in return?

This is a study that can keep you amused for a lifetime.


Maggie Chicoine is a professional speaker, facilitator, writer and Master Coach. She specializes in Strategic Systems Thinking. “Experience Speaks…with a twist of ingenuity.”

Reach her at 1 800 587 1767 or www.theideasculptor.com

New Column! “Superior Secrets: A Good Place to Sleep Series”, featuring exceptional lodgings on the shores of Lake Superior.

Maggie and her photographer husband Richard hit the highways this summer in search of fab accommodations in Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Ontario’s north shore: antique rich B&B’s, magnificent garden Inns and condos a step away from cobblestone beaches.

Photo Credit: Richard Chicoine at Egli's Sheep Farm, Dryden Ontario Canada

Opposites Attract

Most people don’t enter a relationship carrying a spreadsheet. The phrase, “opposites attract” might explain any unsettling differences in viewpoints and behaviors.

The same principle applies when comparing the extremes of a continuum, a line that connects two polarities. Lets look at the concept of “opposites attract” in another context: the scope of being “resilient” and “vulnerable”.

When you think about being resilient, you might describe yourself as being flexible, bouncing back, stretching when the need arises. What about the definition of vulnerability? Weak, defenseless, exposed: the flip underside world of losing, sucking wind, disappointment and failure.

“Who me? Vulnerable? No way. Things will get better. No, I’m not sleeping all that well right now, but I’ll work it out. Don’t worry. I’m not feeling vulnerable!”

Hear the denial?

On the other hand, resiliency brings self-respect, pride and honour to the table. “Wow, I handled that situation well! I’ll never fall into that trap again. I learned a lot from the experience!”

Being vulnerable, and being resilient are the two bookends of a continuum. At one end, vulnerability exposes our challenges, frailties and humanness. At the other, resiliency brings hope, value, strength and influence into our lives. A strong thread connects the two states of being, pulling and pushing as experiences and situations come your way.

Why Vulnerability Is Good For You

The more you can learn about resilience, the easier it is to admit to being vulnerable. Don’t think of the “V” word as “all or nothing”. Consider instead, that you may be having problems with finances, but your relationships are solid. Your career might be changing tracks, but your zest for learning shows huge potential. Your caregiving responsibilities may not leave time for vacations, but your health is at an all time high.

Resilience means that you can shift when you need to. You can ask for help. You can dig up new resources and deal with the unexpected without falling apart. You can find the valve to release the pressure.

Admit to being vulnerable at times.


Resilience is Learned

Start by figuring out your priorities. If they haven’t changed in the last 10 years, it’s time to do some updating, cleaning out your personal closet of lifestyle choices.

• Ask yourself, what are the milestones you expect to reach before too long?
• What do you commit yourself to doing?
• What are the gaps and the bottlenecks?
• What can you do “now” to make sure that you have an elastic band type plan for when things might get tough?
  
  Resilience is proactive, and preventative.

Who do you know who is the poster child of resilience? Take them out for coffee, and ask about how they’ve handled difficulties and obstacles. Get the inside track; give them credit for their good advice; and use the best of the best from multiple sources.

Usually, resilience is found right in front of your nose. Ask yourself the right questions, and you might discover an extra ounce of insight that’s been invisible, until now.

Your coach on call, no strings attached,
Maggie

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E = Energy

5 EEEEEEEEE Haaaaaaas!

When’s the last time you yelled out a hearty EEEEEEEEEEEEEE Haaaaaaaaaaaaa! That’s the sound of a good idea about to emerge into action. Theoretically speaking, most yippeees happen in private, or in the silence of your own head room. Probably not at a staff meeting! Even the best ideas, or germs of new thinking somehow get squashed by the atmosphere.

The “EEEEEE” list – see the IdEas Du Jour – all relate to Energy. Energy in your mind. Excitement type energy bursts while trying to find solutions and leverage. Celebrations when the project was awesome, or totally flopped!

We seem to take the EEEEEEEEhhhaaaaaaaaaas for granted. As Leaders, listen for the laughter. That’s the glue that keeps teams on track.

So, if you’re stuck, bogged or muddled, consider the variety of energies you can apply.

1. Energy of an eager beaver: set a deadline! Dam, build it!

2. Energy of an expert: outsource? Consult? Volunteer? Colleague?

3. Energy of editing: as Hemingway said – and I paraphrase, less is more. Less brings leverage!

4. Energy of enthusiasm: are the ya-butters and nay-sayers crushing your spirit and passion? Tell them to go away (but not before examining their “truth”. You might be missing something important and they are giving you clues!)

5. Energy of celebration: Go ahead, throw a, EEEEEHHHHHAAAAAAA party, even if you’re not finished yet. Or you’ve messed up. We need to celebrate more!


Hey, and if you can’t get that energy rocking and rolling, that’s what coaches are for! This week is International Coach Week! We are celebrating... for YOU that means

Complimentary Coach on Call just by emailing maggiechicoine@gmail.com

Ehaha!
Maggie

"Muddled Meadows" by Digital Artist Carol Cooper, http://www.compasswebworks.com/

More on Leadership Leverage: The Tuesday File at Lake Superior News.ca

This Cracks You UP

Pay Attention to What Cracks You UP!

You know how sometimes you’re in the right place at the right time and something totally absurd happens and it turns out to be one of the funniest things you’ve ever seen and then you keep telling the story over and over again until you’re now celebrating your 100th birthday and the same thing is still funny?

OK, I broke the “Say It in Seven™” rule for the opening sentence. But here’s the HOW TO… that unplanned, seemingly insignificant episode stuck with you because you are open to the possibilities.

The “C” words in the Idea Du Jour (see column on the right) – your leverage points – all refer to the positive effects of allowing more space in your filters.

My recommendation?
1. Ask yourself more questions – that’s a coaching secret – and don’t rush with the answers. Simplify. Look for the obvious. Crack yourself UP by combining and canceling, colouring and cooling down. Don’t rush (this process)….hush………….

2. Listen. Don't talk so much. Watch as well as hear. Listen for the obvious; sometimes what's most obvious is most invisible.

3. Write stuff. Every day. Comedian Red Skelton wrote lists every single night before going to sleep. Everyday comments and happenings became his inspiration. Even if it doesn't make sense today, someday it might.

As a coach on call, all you have to do is email me and I'll send you a complimentary checklist of questions. Maggiechicoine@gmail.com .
BTW, subscribe to this feed (see below, way below!) and you'll get these leverage points automatically every Tuesday.

Keep on cracking,
Maggie
www.theideasculptor.com