The Complaint (Free) Department
Do you know any “Complaint Specialists”? You don’t have to be a psychologist to diagnose the symptoms. Venting. Negative phrasing. Finger pointing. Blame. For a complainer, this type of communication just seems to be normal.
And cognitive scientists agree! Your brain grows cells in your areas of specialty and focus. Dr. Ellen Weber, director of the MITA Brain Based Centre illustrates the point through MRI evidence. She says, “The areas in the brain that control the fingers, tongue and lips are larger in flute players. An accountant who works with numbers every day has a larger representation in the area of the brain that controls math ability.”
You continue to grow positive or negative connections whether you are 17 or 71. Age does not matter.
Do you know any “Complaint Specialists”? You don’t have to be a psychologist to diagnose the symptoms. Venting. Negative phrasing. Finger pointing. Blame. For a complainer, this type of communication just seems to be normal.
And cognitive scientists agree! Your brain grows cells in your areas of specialty and focus. Dr. Ellen Weber, director of the MITA Brain Based Centre illustrates the point through MRI evidence. She says, “The areas in the brain that control the fingers, tongue and lips are larger in flute players. An accountant who works with numbers every day has a larger representation in the area of the brain that controls math ability.”
You continue to grow positive or negative connections whether you are 17 or 71. Age does not matter.
You can re-wire your brain into more positive or more toxic modes: take your pick.
The 21 Day C-Challenge
In a previous column, I challenged readers to track their levels of complaining for 21 days. Habitual behaviors can be changed with conscious effort in only three weeks. So, if I’m going to suggest it, I’m going to try it. Our household took on the C-Challenge, starting July 1.
Within the first 24 hours, my personal attempt to forego venting and finger pointing failed. In fact, I messed up within the first 2 hours. With a long sigh, I said, “I am so sick and tired of moving my make-up in and out of this bathroom. When are you going to finish the renovations already!”. The irritation in my own voice signaled the cue instantly; I heard myself loud and clear. All I could do was to laugh and say,
The 21 Day C-Challenge
In a previous column, I challenged readers to track their levels of complaining for 21 days. Habitual behaviors can be changed with conscious effort in only three weeks. So, if I’m going to suggest it, I’m going to try it. Our household took on the C-Challenge, starting July 1.
Within the first 24 hours, my personal attempt to forego venting and finger pointing failed. In fact, I messed up within the first 2 hours. With a long sigh, I said, “I am so sick and tired of moving my make-up in and out of this bathroom. When are you going to finish the renovations already!”. The irritation in my own voice signaled the cue instantly; I heard myself loud and clear. All I could do was to laugh and say,
“#$)*%@ - this isn’t easy!”.
My husband lasted longer. At the 4 hour mark, his frustration with his new digital camera equipment got the better of him. Even though he’s a really easy going retired guy, technology always gets his grrrrr factor going. His brain has been trained to react. We are both suffering from rock hard brain-itis? Not so...
We started again.
Seven days into the C-Challenge, we are learning about the underlying importance of “mindfulness”, paying attention to our patterns and relationships in the “now”. Mindfulness requires that we let go of our judgments and criticisms and concentrate instead, on generating choices of expression.
We have come to realize that a partner in this C-Challenge is crucial. We catch each other’s phrasing about simple, everyday events like the weather. Instead of grumbling about the rainy forecast, I choose to say nothing. Rather than expressing irritation about technology, we both search for answers on the help site.
We’re taking the nomad lifestyle – I no mad at you, you no mad at me – to the extreme, and laughing more. Our brains are loving it!
Join us? Try the C-Challenge for 21 days and let us know how it goes.
My husband lasted longer. At the 4 hour mark, his frustration with his new digital camera equipment got the better of him. Even though he’s a really easy going retired guy, technology always gets his grrrrr factor going. His brain has been trained to react. We are both suffering from rock hard brain-itis? Not so...
We started again.
Seven days into the C-Challenge, we are learning about the underlying importance of “mindfulness”, paying attention to our patterns and relationships in the “now”. Mindfulness requires that we let go of our judgments and criticisms and concentrate instead, on generating choices of expression.
We have come to realize that a partner in this C-Challenge is crucial. We catch each other’s phrasing about simple, everyday events like the weather. Instead of grumbling about the rainy forecast, I choose to say nothing. Rather than expressing irritation about technology, we both search for answers on the help site.
We’re taking the nomad lifestyle – I no mad at you, you no mad at me – to the extreme, and laughing more. Our brains are loving it!
Join us? Try the C-Challenge for 21 days and let us know how it goes.
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Maggie Chicoine is a Master Coach, Facilitator, Professional Speaker and Writer based in Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada. She is a regular columnist for Lake Superior News and The Country Register.
Reach her at 1 800 687 1767 or http://www.theideasculptor.com/ or maggiechicoine@gmail.com. “Experience speaks…with a twist of ingenuity”
Watch for her new series: Superior Secrets – A Good Night’s Sleep featuring exceptional properties on the shores of Lake Superior.
Photos by Richard Chicoine.
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