Rock Em, Sock Em but Pre-Plan

How to Never End Up Between a Rock and a Hard Place – Again

Time to read, and re-read: 10 minutes
Time to process and act: a few hours

Call it angst, torment or even just worry. When you’re stuck in that tight spot and nothing seems to make sense, how do you emerge? Bruised from battle or wiser for the effort – or both? Like this photo of a birch tree valiantly growing through a crevice on the shores of Lake Superior - purposefully posted sideways - it's hard to keep our perspective "real".

Let me suggest that you prepare in advance. Chances are, you are going to be in crisis situation, or have a deep decision to make at some point! Pre-planning can simplify even the worst of events. If you’re not ready right now, print off this page and keep it with your important documents for future reference.

This method, using 3 key questions about prioritizing important issues or ideas comes from the field of Developmental Coaching. When you judge your own thinking, you set limits on the possibilities available to you.

These 3 questions open up the process for you, so that, in effect, you are working backwards to your top priorities. I like the way author Stephen King refers to the “Boys in the Basement” as the judges who trash new ideas. By being aware of your internal garbage can, you are already on track. The 3 questions move you forward.

Here’s how to proceed.

Example: To keep this example on the lighter side, let’s say that you are trying to decide whether or not to leave your current employment and venture into entrepreneurship. Or, perhaps you are considering retirement, yet something is holding you back. Trying to quit smoking or lose weight? No matter what the problem, the 3 questions work.

Question 1: What’s Important?

Using a large notebook and coloured markers – a technique which gets a message to your innovative and abstract right brain – you list as many “important” features of entrepreneurship – retirement – health. Work on one problem at a time! So if you’re thinking about starting a business, stick with that and don’t confuse the boys in the basement by trying to simultaneously quit smoking.

At this stage, however, remember that your job also affects your family, your quality of life and spiritual expression, your hobbies, your vacations and obviously, your finances. If it’s important to you from any aspect, jot that information down in point form. Key words, no more than 7 words per item, tell your story. Be as specific as possible.

You don’t have to do this at one sitting. Try to add to the list at different times of the day, especially when you are either really relaxed, or very frustrated. Have fun, play; don’t take yourself too seriously!

When you have recorded 100 items, it’s time to move to Question 2, “What’s Really Important”

Question 2: What’s Really Important?

Using another coloured marker, circle or underline no more than 20 items from your first list. You must start to make clear choices. At times, combining one idea with another will create a burst of new thinking. Open yourself to bubbles of creativity while you are working on these lists. Add to the original list at any time.

Record the 20 items, on a separate pages, and elaborate on each. Ask yourself more questions, such as, “When this happens, what will it feel like, sound like, taste like?” “Who can help make this happen?” “What are the consequences if this doesn’t work out?” “What’s the cost? Financial? Relationships? Energy?” “What will become easier? More difficult?”

You’ll find that your thinking leads to 5 categories:
1. Financial, money issues
2. Mental, intellectual, emotional elements
3. Physical health and wellness
4. Relationships and social connections
5. Things you own and have to maintain


Question 3: What’s Most Important?

From the top 20, find the most important items. These represent your “heartbeat”, the things that make you tick, that you are reluctant to give up.

Circle them, using another colour once again. Try to narrow down the list to no more than 5 items. Three is optimal.

There are beliefs and truths embedded in the core of these choices. List these beliefs. Ask yourself, “How do I know these beliefs are true?” “What assumptions am I making?


Target Your Actions

This short list becomes the “bible” you follow. You know you are on track when your behavior matches your intentions. Let me just say that again, in case you are speed-reading. Your behavior, what you do every day, must match your intentions consistently.

Say, for example, that one of your most important choices is to increase your health and fitness. You intend to get out of bed at 6 am, and then exercise for 30 minutes. You are into the program for 2 weeks, and then you are scheduled for an out of town assignment. While you’re away, you don’t have time to follow your routine. When you return, you are tired. You think about getting back on the treadmill or out for a walk, but something seems to be holding you back. Is your behavior matching your intention? When the truth be told, is health and fitness really one of your MOST important choices?

Start over.

TO DO: Set measurements and timelines. Track your items daily. Be very specific. WSD (write stuff down); keep using the big notebook! Adjust your actions according to what is happening in your life, just don’t give up on your promises to yourself.

Stick with clear intentions, honest actions and steadfast movement in the direction you have chosen. Remember your commitment to yourself.

One More Example: “Sweet, Spirit-centred Simplicity”

With a bit of practice, you can shorten your 3 priorities into a mini phrase. Mine is: “Sweet, Spirit-centred Simplicity”. When I need to make a decision, whether it’s about grocery shopping or working with a corporate client, I ask myself: Is this sweet – does my intuition say yippee? Is there fun involved? Is this spirit-centred – am I acting according to my beliefs and values? Is this simple – are there hints of chaos involved? Is this too complex to break down into clear steps?

That’s why I don’t go grocery shopping on Saturday afternoons, and perhaps why I choose a small independent grocery store. Give me easy parking, short line-ups, smiling cashiers and fresh produce, and I won’t even look at the difference in prices. My beliefs and assumptions about life and work are mirrored in my shopping habits. They also apply to my entrepreneurial career, and my relationships with family and friends.

When you know what’s most important to you, life gets easier, work flows and relationships prosper. You can sleep well at night, knowing that you are functioning in the moment, instead of trying to herd cats and line up your ducks. What’s most important becomes your reputation and, in time, your legacy.

If you have questions, or need a coach to coach you through the questions, all you have to do is post a comment. No strings attached.

- Maggie